I love taking away people's access to me. Like the trial is over and your card is declined
I want to be like this
my shoulder angel & devil are too busy flirting to actually give me any advice and thats why my life is in shambles
It took forever but I accepted myself and didn’t need anyone but me to make myself happy. So why do I still feel not good enough. Bc i don’t hate myself anymore. I actually love who I am. Will ever feeling good enough just not work in this world I’m living in? How do I accept myself more than I already do to be in a world like this; always telling me I’m not good enough… oh and then let’s add on childhood trauma. I can make myself happy but am I good enough for myself? It seems to swing back and forth despite being in a good place
$$
Another day, another lame poem I wrote:
I never saw my mother treated right or well
And while i love my father,
I never saw him give her love
by show or tell
A father is the first teacher of what a girl learns to accept
Maybe that’s why she always let each boy one after the next treat her with disrespect
learning what a woman deserves after having grown up in a broken home doesn’t come easy
She wanted to believe the fairytales in the books where the endings were always so cheesy
She gave herself to men
Overlooking their flaws and ignoring their bad intentions
She needed to feel even if just for a second that love could be found
And fairytales could be real
So she let men get away with giving her scars they said they would heal
And by promising more than they could give
they’d never be a place where true love could live
Did her choices in men come from a life of not seeing a father try
A life of seeing a mother always left alone to cry
Or were her choices in men just a reflection of herself
Never feeling worthy or enough
Perhaps that fairytale love was just in the books on her shelf
